You Can't Change the Past...

My mom and dad should have never split up.  My dad said on several occasions that he gave up too easily and should have fought for the marriage, even though it was his fault that they had split up.  He also said, however, that he was young, selfish, stubborn and arrogant at the time, so there you have it.

My dad's girlfriend later told me that he really missed us when he was living on his own and that he was very lonely without us.  My mom had this 45 (record) so I knew all of the words of course (we played music a lot in our house).  After what Dad's girlfriend had shared, the song always made me think of him all alone... it made me so sad.

All By Myself by Eric Carmen

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore

Hard to be sure
Some times I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone

All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore

Sadly, my dad seemed to be very lonely at the time of his death as well.  Between his alcoholism and other personal issues, I think he felt very isolated and alone.  What a shame.